Fits my name and demeanor. Crank it up!

Hot Diggity Dog

The FreakinStore is Open!.

It’s your one-stop-shopping destination for all things Freakin. We’ve got tees, and soon, we’ll have coffee mugs, bags, panties and much, much more.

Plus, we’ll be offering original artwork and products from local artists and businesses. If you wanna get in - let us know. We’d love to feature you on FreakinAsheville and all across the FreakinUniverse!

Also, as with all our FreakinAsheville and FreakinUniverse sites, 10% of all profits will be going to a good cause. This month (and for the forseeable future,) we’re donating that 10% to research into lupus. We have a heart. It’s mostly cold and black, but we’re trying…

As a graphic designer, I have found myself designing an awful lot of retail packaging. It’s a challenge, really - trick the public into buying something they don’t really want or need. It’s psychology, perfidy and art all at the same time. I guess all advertising is that way*.

As usual, it seems that the Europeans and Far Easterners have found a better way to design things. For your viewing pleasure, I submit some packaging projects I wish I had taken part in:

*Politics, too.

We’re (and by we’re I really mean someone else) updating the navigation and a couple of other systems. Might be a little uneven for a few hours.

Hell - it’s free. What are you complaining about?

Most people will say they hate reality shows but will whisperingly confide that they turned on this one and “just got hooked, but it’s the only one,” (or two) that they can tolerate. I can’t seem to watch any of them. Even the dancing ones or the scavenger hunt ones. Least of all the love or roommate or vote-someone-off shows. There’s just too little there in terms of a story to interest me. Too much condiment and not enough food.

But there is a reality show I would watch. It would be the reality show of reality shows…. (Continue at zenography)

A really great group is playing this weekend….

Charlotte St. Computers’s Greg Mayer is a great guy…They help keep all our ducks in a row.

This movie is very odd….Old Greg…

There really are a lot of reasons to get out in Ashveville.

Just FreakinDoIt. We’re all blessed to live in such a beautiful, messed-up, fun, depressing, happy, imperfect perfect place.

We’ve been absent for lo these many years - but FreakinAsheville is back, baby - and better than ever.

We’ve added the ability to blog. We’ve added back some features we had before the “wasted years” crept in. Things continue to shake out and we’re adding new features almost daily. You’re not seeing them all, but when we hit our official launch (in November,) we’re going to have the best damed site in Asheville - and the Universe.

Today, I thought I’d post a little bit about the benefits of the new FreakinAsheville to local musicians and bands.

First - you can grab your own blog and build an entire site for your band. Add photos, tour dates, ramblings, and perhaps most importantly - upload your music and sell your swag. We’re installing some great jukebox software so your fans can listen to what you’re up to without downloading it and selling millions of copies on the black market. We’ve also got a built-in ecommerce system so you can sell tshirts, panties, records, anything you’d like, really. You keep the profits, your fans get the flyest gear.

Secondly - and possibly most importantly, we’ve got a built-in SEO (search engine optimization) system that will get you noticed on Google and the major search engines - just for posting. You don’t have to do any extra programming - your site/blog just does it for you. Pretty sweet. Worldwide, you are.

Third - you’ll be getting worldwide exposure through not only search engines, but through our extensive network of FreakinSites. We’ve got hundreds of ‘em, and as they roll out, you’ll be attached to each one. If someone in FreakinLondon searches for “rock,” your site will show up. Along with your music, your photos and your contact info. Hell yeah! Free publicity. And it works the other way, too. You’ll be able to search the FreakinNetwork for clubs and venues that are looking for performers. Taking a swing out West? Search FreakinLosAngeles and see if there’s a club that might want to have you play and make millions of dollars and make out with Lindsay Lohan. Or K-fed. Whatever.

And the best part? It’s 100% free. Always has been, always will be.

Sounds like a lofty plan, right? Well - it is, but it’s already in motion and already generating a huge amount of interest. So - check it out, use it, ride the FreakinWave. You know you wanna.

Asheville will never be the same - nor will the Freakin World.

Asheville Women in Black is part of a larger network of women who invite us to contemplate the effect of violence in our lives.

They are there at Vance memorial every Fridays between 5-6 pm.

Through the power of silent witness they call for an end to the cycle of violence. The webpage is Women in Black

or for more info: (828) 668-7380

You gotta look hard - but…

Today, as a special treat while Mother is away attending to some leagl matters at the hospital, Ms. Theresa Norzander, star of many Books on Tape will take over the class. Her background, although primarily the grand stage, includes many nationally televised commercials and a stint with the Randy Players of San Pedro as “the naughty high school girl” and “Betty Boobs” of the famous film “Pillow Fight”.
Hello my darlings. Thank you for this opportunity to continue with Mother’s work while she is absent. Assuming you’ve had your history and math accounted for and lack nothing beyond a comfortable story, I will endeavor to provide you with a bit more of the tale of Three Pigs Little. Perhaps I will be able to shed some more light onto the primary characters and give you a chance to glimpse into their little porcine minds to help work out some of the […]

Original post by oldmotherfreaker

So work takes me over to one of the satellite offices to train a small medical practice on the ins-and-outs of our Electronic Medical Records (EMR) package, and i’m training the nurses and the one doctor for that location, whom i’ve never met, keeps walking behind me. He looks like a very aging Dick Van Dyke or Donald Sutherland. I can tell from the nurse’s reactions that he wants to ask me something or interact with me in some way.

Then he says “I’m doctor So-and-so and it’s good to meet you, but has anyone ever said you look like anyone from TV?” He seems like a kid about to reveal his marble collection.
“Not lately,” i respond.
“Do you watch The Office?” he asks.
“Don’t say Dwight Shroot!” my voice raised, trying to be threatening, while still nice.
“You look like the weird guy from The Office that is always paranoid about security. That guy!” He seems pleased with himself for the discovery.  “What’s his name…?”

“Dwight Shroot” I say dejectedly. “and you look like Dick Van Dyke.” I mumble. “After he sobered up.”

Well, at least he didn’t say i looked like Garrison Keillor’s ugly brother…

From “Repo Man.”

Pretty boys and sex symbols with good production and real studio time selling bunches of cds and doing shows with lots of screaming girls and real printed posters and air conditioning. Good skin and expensive clothes.
I submit that today’s mainstream “punk” is no more punk than Stevie Wonder. Quite probably - much less.
The immediacy is missing. The anger and hate is missing. The fun is kind of gone, too. It’s become pop music. And pop music with 3 chords is not even good pop music.
So, yeah - I’m saying today’s punk, by and large, is not punk. I’m an elitist and a bit of a purist. An asshole, too.
But, hey - if you dig it, that’s cool. I dig a lot of crap, too…

Original post by jimdiggitydog

Oh, gracious. Mother was away for an extended period of time that go ’round, wasn’t she? Mister Tim who supplies the vegetables for our lunch room was just showing me two of his wonderfully large Kiwi fruit and the most delectable cucumber in the cloak room. I’ve never had my hands on such a pair!
Yes, Bobbie, we should get back to our story. Mustn’t forget our place here.
Now, let’s see. We’ve talked all about Harold, the wolf and his place in our story. I suppose now is the time we should just pick up our tale and return to the Pigs Little.
Now, it so happens our little pigs had gone quite a way into the neighboring forest while we were concentrating on Harold the wolf. They had crossed several small streams and frolicked in several pastures before settling on a wide path in the Woodsy Woods. As they journeyed, they […]

Original post by oldmotherfreaker

All is right with the Universe…